Three things Thursday {3 things I gave up in 2015}

New year. New me. New you. New goals. One major goal this year is to engage this wonderful blogging community better. What better way than to begin a new link up with some blog friends! Together, the three of us came up with Three Things Thursday. Just three things to talk or write about. Five seemed like too many and "one thing" was like we weren't even trying! So any three things that are on your mind. Any three pictures from Instagram. Three complaints about your day/week. Three of your favorite treats. Seriously. Any three things! So write it. Publish it. Yell it from the mountain tops! 
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I ended 2015 thinking about how much I enjoyed Christmas this year. Last year I was in over my head, with a full time job and full time obligations. Stretched so thin that I literally spent an evening crying under my Christmas tree because I wanted six more weeks of Christmas instead of the six days I had left. This year, while working part time, I was able to be present more. I was able to say yes and not resent the obligations I had agreed to. I was able to take my time and not feel so rushed. Still the holidays were just as stressful as usual, and there were mornings where I was just at the end of my line with the simple things. Like what to eat for breakfast. Or why none of the thermoses had been washed the night before. As my family and I made the slow shift from Christmas into the New Year, I began to reflect on all of the things I had let go of this year. The little things that I gave up, those times I finally waved my white flag and surrendered. Because sometimes those little things that we hold so tightly are really the things that stress us the most. That said, here are three small things I let go of in 2015, and honestly I'm so much happier that I did.

1. Fashion Police


I gave up on trying to make my girls wear clothes that matched. This photo doesn't do any justice to the things that I've seen in this past year, but trust me. Some days it's leopard print and stripes. Some days it's plaids and stripes. Some days it's the colors that clash that make me break into a cold sweat of anxiety, but I've learned to hold my tongue. I've learned to let them wear it and test their own fashion boundaries. Especially when I noticed that my objections were changing the way they were feeling out themselves and their personal sense of style. Let's be honest, no one is hurt by patterns that don't match, and I'm not Anna Wintour. What do I know about pattern mixing? Nothing. Those little faces with the crushed looks damn near crushed me when I questioned their "outfits". I I've held my tongue. Bit it so hard on some mornings it almost bled. Making mornings easier now that I look the other way. These days my only job in the fashion department is to make sure they have a coat and shoes.

2. That Bedtime Routine


I know exactly what you are thinking. My kids are eight and five and we don't have a proper bedtime routine. What would Dr. Ferber say? What the hell is wrong with me? Nothing. I'm human. I'm tired. And sometimes everyone piling into Mom and Dad's bed is easier than fighting and crying about all the other things that are wrong with life on a Wednesday night. So, yeah. Sometimes we co-sleep. Still. Even when we don't start out co-sleeping one of the little humans in this house finds their way into our bed. It's fine. We don't have a bed time or a routine and we are still alive. Sometimes we are tired, but we are still alive.

3. Hating my Body


My body isn't the same body I had three years ago. That's been really hard for me. I've spent the majority of my life fighting with the scale, and when I had to give up all grains because of a food allergy I lost a ton of weight. That weight stayed off for more than a year, and then right around thirty five my body started to change again. I'm sure age has something to do with it, but I was also at a point where my body was healthy again. I still don't eat any grains, dairy, sugar, or caffeine. Okay, I'll admit to the occasional Starbucks iced tea, but really it's like my only cheat. The last two years have been hard because my clothes fit differently, my body looks differently, and I feel differently about all of those things. This year, in September an image of me four years ago popped up in my time hop. It was right before I got my diagnosis that sent me to a grain free diet. When I look at the picture I can see that I look sick. My coloring, my hair, my arms. I posted it on Instagram compared to a recent picture of me. I'm thicker in the middle, my arms are bigger, and so are my hips, but my coloring is so much better. Not only that, I feel so much better and I'm happier in so many ways. These pictures were the first steps in accepting this new body. It was freeing to let this body shame go. I finally started to dress with more confidence, and soon I liked what I saw in the mirror again. It's been one of the best things I did in 2015.

I've written about resolutions and words to guide me through 2016, but these three things that I let go of last year have topped my best of 2015 list. Sometimes it's okay to quit the things that don't bring you joy. To give up the things that bring you hardships. Life is hard enough as it is, why keep doing those same things that bring you down? I'm looking forward to letting go of more of those little things in 2016. Cheers to being a quitter of things that are okay to quit... Or something like that!


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